poem-colors?

Antony C asked:

Colors are like people
There’s more than meets the eye
No two are quite the same
It’s own rhythm each lives by

Red a blazing fire
Or Juicy apples in July
Mobs on overcast days
A newborn babe’s first cry

Orange a spark of hope
A simple act of gratitude
The fresh scent of peeled fruit
Fish with a gleeful attitude

Yellow is the sun’s energy
The happiness of two friend
Warmth a smile always brings
Daffodils in summer winds

Green is life born anew
A tree so proud and tall
A young deer grazing peacefully
Soft rain finishing it’s fall

Blue is a gurgling stream
Birds soaring in a cloudless sky
The peace endless oceans bring
A tear that will not dry

Purple an ultraviolet light
Twinkling stars where bats fly
A bruise from a clumsy stumble
Violets swaying under a gorgeous sky

Our differences may seem grand
Yet we’re all important in life’s game
For what would a rainbow be
If each color were the same?

Comments (2) Posted in Poetry

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yeini - May 22nd, 2010 at 6:06 am
cool
i love your decriptions and imagery
its so original
Grannyjill - May 27th, 2010 at 11:32 pm
The last line of the first verse is awkward because it is back to front in order to get the rhyme with ‘eye’
How about this instead

Colours are like people
No two are quite the same
With each there’s more than meets the eye
Each has a different aim.

Red is
Orange is
What does ‘mobs on overcast days’ mean? Is it some American thing I wouldn’t recognise?

I love the Orange verse
- a fish with gleeful attitude (great image)

Soft rain ceasing to fall. (???) yours is too long

two friends

I think the thing I am trying to say here is – just take time to read your poem aloud, hear where it is a bit clumsy, or where the rhythm fails, make small adjustments and the end product will be something to be proud of.
You have clearly worked hard on this poem and in many ways you have succeeded in what you set out to do.
Well done.

Tall Babes