My name is Nicole. iv’e been crazy about my bestfriend Louis(if i slip and put Arnold its ok. thats his real name, long story) since September. We started off as good friends working for the same company, walmart. We do overnights. Everyone hooks up there but i found that not my thing. Especially since i was with someone in the ARMY for a while and was very very faithful and loyal! Louis(my friend) had told me how much he admires me and was flirting. When the soldier and i broke up, Louis helped me through it. Then one day I went over for drinks and it was 151 bicardi. I never had hard liqor before. I had one too many shots then he left to get condoms.. i had more shots. and these were tall shot glasses! All I remember is him standing there in the dining room with his back facing me(im in the living room sitting in the chair) and then thats all i remember. I wake up to everything off but my underwear. I took a shower and then i went over to him and asked him what happened. He didn’t take me seriously but told me. He had *** with me(obviously) but also i supposivly asked for **** and we had ****. I had NEVER done this before and i told him before i might if im in love with the guy.. I looked at him as a good guy.. so i just said “I dont feel any different” and he said “Thats good that means i did it right”. I was in the time of my life where i was trying to lose myself.. and was like well if i had done these things id rather be awake for it so i let him have *** with me. he took care of me that whole day because i had the worst hangover.. plus i had hit my head hard. He would get mad at me for asking quiestions frequently about it.. because i really didn’t know. he said he doesn’t believe me.

it was 3 months in we’re still having *** and i was falling for him.. he seemed to enjoy it but i never heard it back. then here comes december and im about to meet up with one of my friends who just got back from deployment. a marine. before i left, i gave arnold a hug and he gave me one of his cellphones to reach him. I added minutes to it and found tons of text in the phone. I just had to read them didn’t i? tons of em were sexual and from a few different girls around the same time. and around the same time i was having intimate relationsions with him. He was having *** with them. It hurt so i asked him at the airport and he was saying he use to and stressed he and i arent together and said he doesnt talk to them anymore since he’s been talkign to me. later found out thats a lie.. he talks to all the girls he’s had *** with and they all were just friends with him. well finally last day in cali.. i told him i loved him.. and when i came back on the 11th of december he asked me to be his girl. Alot has happened since then. so many girls were tyring to get in the way, and i had a problem with it and would talk to him about it and it all got blown up in my face, he’d threaten to leave me and never talk again and would ignore me for days on end. then it came to it we broke up… he gave me hope we might get back together but then when i went to his house and went to use his phone a text just came in and was saying “Hey babe, im ready for another round”. I was so upset because he and i were still intimate. He also was still talking to those women from october and i just recently found out that he’s been on this fling.com site since october and has hooked up with a few girls.. though he said its just been with me the whole time but he’s had this one girl over early may.. while he and i were intimate.. and they had sex, he still denies it but now she’s 4 weeks pregnant. and im having suicial thoughts.

I had a pregnancy scare with him but it made me feel closer than ever after. I wanted a baby.. i want a future with him but he says he doesnt really want a girl. just occasional ***. he keeps all his flings close to him. he goes on that site alot. its so digusting the way the site is and while he and i are intimate he’s still looking for some but it seems its whenever we’re fighting he seeks for another girl. i think he has strong feelings for me just isnt going to say em. thinking one day i may just leave. now this woman will be in his life forever. and now he’s ignoring me because i snooped and found all this pout. he was very abusive but did something every time to make me fall for him. i think he just used me this whole time. I dont want friends with benefits. i was just completely in love with him.

..and she’s tall. i always felt really short to him. he’s 6′4″ black male. I am 5′1″ white female.