I posted this yesterday, but i’ve changed it a little bit and added on.
I’m not so sure about the last couple of sentances. still deciding weather to keep them or not.
1=omfg burn this NAO 10=ZOMG love love LOVE give me MOAR!
I would love constructive criticism! as much as you can dish out! =]
and vanna is NOT a vampire! you find out what she really is later on in the story.
this is not a twilight rip off, so i don’t want to hear any of that crap.
*little gruesome in the beginning. sorry. =] *

Vanna sunk her long, sharp, ivory white teeth into the dense shoulder of her latest catch. Warm, gurgling blood filling her mouth. She chuckled as the creature let out a screech, it was still alive. The chewy flesh was already beginning to satisfy her craving. She ripped at its chest with long, clawlike fingernails, and dug her way down to the bone. It was barely making a sound now, just whimpers escaping its dull pink lips, color slowly fading from its disgusting face. But Vanna was too engulfed in her delicious meal to notice, it had been a while since she had eaten. The farther down she dug into the creature’s thick body, the better it got. Skin turned to muscles, muscles to bone, and bone to a still beating heart. Her eyes grew wide as she tore open a brittle rib cage, and reached in. She held the thing like a trophy. Licked it with a long, black tongue, and a smile curled upon her lips. Within seconds, it was gone. Making its way through her esophagus by now. She licked her bone white fingers, tasting every last drop of blood. Suddenly, a piercing cry erupted, and she was yanked back to reality. The miniature creature howled. Vanna cringed, how she hated the things. Should she just eat this one too? She decided against it. She detested humans, but the thing that sat on the ground wailing was just a baby. She had to admit, she felt the slightest bit of remorse at killing its mother, but she had to eat. She picked up the wretched thing, holding it as if it was infected with a disease. A sudden, unexpected maternal instinct kicked in, and she cooed at it, rocking from side to side, still disgusted by the fact that she was actually touching it. Eventually, the screams died down, and its tiny blue eyes drifted shut. A tiny smile replaced Vanna’s frown, but there was no way she was going to admit to actually liking the thing. She looked around; at least it hadn’t attracted any attention, but what now? If she brought it back home, it would surely be eaten. And there was no way she could pass it off as her own. Or could she? She pondered the thought for a moment. Raise a human? Was it even possible? Would anyone believe her? She doubted it.
Vanna stopped cold as she saw two glowing, yellow eyes peering at her from the dark depths of the snowy forest around her. “Who’s there?” She growled ferociously, her emotions crashing and swirling inside of her, she was not one to mess with today. The eyes blinked, but no voice responded. Vanna breathed heavily as her rage swelled. “Show yourself you coward!” she demanded, taking a brave step forward. The eyes merely blinked at her once more. She tore through the dense leaves of a berry bush, sending tiny, poisonous fruits flying in every direction. The eyes were still out of her reach. She stomped forward, her anger fueling her. They continued to stare, mocking her as she moved ever closer. Vanna smiled evilly as she detected the dim outline of a tall figure. Human or not, she was out to kill. She halted as the figure disappeared into thin air. Spinning around in hot fury, she cried out. “what the h*ll…” she mumbled, searching ferociously for whatever, whoever had been watching her. She then remembered the tiny creature resting in the crook of her left arm. It was surprisingly warm, much warmer than Vanna’s own body. She looked around once more, and being positive that the eyes were in fact, gone, she trudged off into the woods, still unsure of what to do with the baby. She suddenly recalled a lesson, long ago, taught to her by her grandfather. It was about the humans, their habits, their taste, their smell. He had also mentioned something about their naming traditions, their names being chosen at seemingly random at the time of birth. It was so very different from their own traditions. The first letter of Vanna’s name came from her mother. Violet. And the last letter was inherited from the first initial of her father. Aristole. She shuddered at the memories of him, and forced her mind back to the baby. Surely it had a name, but how would she ever come to know it. Kacia. The name popped into her head like it had been there all along. “Kacia” She whispered to no one in particular, and the little babe’s eyes popped open. She laughed. “Kacia, that’s what we shall call you” She said, wondering if its miniscule mind could even comprehend her words. It gurgled and Vanna’s face snapped back to a frown, she would have to work to get over the vile fact that it was still a human

In my science class I have to write a story about the day the world lost electricity, and i’m only about a 10th of the way through my story but, yeah anyway have a read see what you think. I’m 14 btw. This is what I’ve got so far anyway.

The day the world lost power

Alfie Patton walked along Jenson Street, Brighton, in the south of England. Alongside him walked his girlfriend Erin _____ it was a cold autumn night, they felt the sea breeze on their faces as the strode along the sidewalk, the night sky was clear, the stars shone brightly over them, they held hands openly showing their love.

Some people would stare but they did not care in the slightest, they’d been together since they were 17 they were now 23, Alfie was the son of Michael Patton one of the countries top football managers, he had taken Brighton & Hove from a second division mid table club to one of the top 5 teams in the premier league. He was a hero of the town, and with his father being such a highly regarded man around town plenty of people knew who he was, he seemed to always wear a bandanna and had long curly brown hair, it was almost down to his shoulders, he stood about 180 centimetres tall, he had the surfer look. Where as Erin, was a simple girl, lived in Brighton her whole life. She knew nothing else and that was the way she liked it, she had long dark brown hair, and stood at about 155 centimetres tall, and she had a smile that would melt any heart.

They where headed home from a party on the beach when all the streetlights suddenly failed and all the lights from the surrounding area went off too, Erin was scared of the dark, as soon as it happened it just sent her into meltdown, she started crying, the tears flooded from her face, Alfie hugged her, he held her tight. “It’s going to be ok Erin, everything is fine” he said as he tried to console her, she cried and cried, he wiped away the tears from her cheeks and held her head close to his chest, he held her for 20 minutes or more before she calmed down, eventually they started walking again, headed towards Alfie’s house, it was a big house right on the beachfront.

Alfie and Erin walked into his kitchen, and saw that all the lights where off “Something’s going on Alfie, I’m scared” Erin said, as she almost started to cry again. “Everything will be ok Erin, just have a drink and we’ll go to bed, everything will be better in the morning” Alfie said, he opened the fridge and noticed it wasn’t on, the water was still cold though, he pretended not to notice, he did not want to worry Erin. As he poured a drink for her, she came up behind him and hugged him, she leant her head on his shoulder, he turned around and passed the glass to her.
“Drink up babe” Alfie said.
“Thank you”, she said as she gulped the water down, Alfie held her close to him.
“You feeling better?” He said to her.
“Yes, thank you Alfie, you’ve made me feel so much better, I love you” she said.
Alfie smiled, “that’s great, It’ll be better in the morning” Alfie said, he softly kissed her forehead, he gave her one last long hug and they went to bed…..

That’s all I’ve got so far so thats a basic start to my story.